How to Transform My Fears Into Support

by | Feb 10, 2019 | Healthy, Happy and Harmonious Relationships | 0 comments

Fear… It just creeps up on you like a foggy clammy mist in the heat of the day…

What can I do about fear when it shows up?

Today we are talking about:  Fear, what it is, how and why it manifests, its disguises, and what to do about it.

I believe that if each person had less stress and fear in their lives, our world would be more harmonious.

That’s certainly true for me, to me fear is is definitely stressful and a source of what could be wrong in our world, what does not feel good… it’s what causes myself and others to be mean, and unkind. I know when I’m fearful my body gets stressed and I react… my emotions are off kilter, and I don’t communicate well… then I don’t make great choices so I don’t behave or act in a way that produces the results I seek or want. And frankly, it makes others not feel good.

To me fear is a stress and the source of all that is wrong in our world.  Fear does not feel good, and causes people to be mean or mistreat people.

Fears start manifesting in our minds and bodies when we first out of alignment with who we are, with our needs, or are dealing with what we think is an unresolvable problem. pain and are acknowledged or coddled when young and in pain or we don’t know how to navigate the pain when young so we do anything we can to avoid it.

Fear shows up as blocks, limiting beliefs, frustration, anger, anxiety, lack of forward movement, being stuck, being emotional, mental anguish, not being able to figure a way out of it and more.

This quiz gave me my knowledge about what I call a superpower. And my kryptonite for those of you who Don’t know what kryptonite is kryptonite hails from the secret superhero world, and is the one thing that makes Superman weak and quite frankly unable to function in a superman way. So I know my superpower. And I know my kryptonite as I go about my life. And I am very diligent about aligning myself and my life and everything in it with my superpower. So when fear shows up for me, my kryptonite shows up too. And it’s not a good feeling to go through. And honestly, it’s not really nice for others to experience it, either. But because I know my kryptonite, and I have this tool, I know what to do to get through it. I highly recommend this quiz, because I use it in my daily in my life on a daily basis. And it’s a wonderful way to be aware of fears, limiting beliefs, and what’s not working in your life. But it’s so much more than that as well. I just want to focus on fear today, because that’s what we’re talking about. So it really gives you the knowing of what to do to restore your superpower when fear shows up. Fear is also a stronghold on the status quo, you know, that fear of the uncertain of something that might happen, the might happen part great, it’s a space for us to choose the status quo, choose where we are now, staying in a situation that is we know is not ultimately great for us. And being stuck in not having our dreams realized unfulfilled. Fear is also something that can hinder relationships with people money and more. It can also manifest as belief systems that don’t, that don’t serve your highest good or your desires that we hold on to for dear life. And I’ve had an opportunity this week, to really take a look at this particular fear. And it’s really about fear of not having freedom in my life in a particular aspect of my life. And I’m really looking at those belief systems right now. The result of the fear is we go into self protect and self preservation mode when fear shows up, which results in closing our hearts and minds. I know that happened for me. And I was able to communicate that I just needed time to see if I could shift our memory kicks in. Like I said before, and when we experience something or someone, again, that looks like feels like is like that experience is exactly the same as our experiences what our mind, say. And then we react or respond by saying Nope, not gonna do that again, or react in other ways. And I know my mind goes into protect mode, and I can feel my body closing and my heart closing my brain with my design is here to really process information and data and to receive receive information from my body and surroundings. And the magic, the other magical, really magical power of my brain and mind is to leverage it to create a life I love that loves me back through the power of my thoughts. And this week, again, I went into fear mode, and my thoughts weren’t serving me. And I really needed to work through and unpack everything that had happened. Moment by moment, my feeling associated with it, and where that originated from. It didn’t take long once I you know allowed the emotion to pass through. And it’s really got triggered by me my mind making up that I no longer have freedom, that I can’t talk freely, that I can’t be myself, etc, in a specific professional based relationship. So you see how we can get really shut down and it can affect our functions, it can affect our livelihood, it can affect our, our work life, it can affect I mean, just add in a lot more stress and a lot more worry.



I think we also get comfortable with what we know. And what is known, even if it’s not healthy does not feel good or is not aligned with our highest good or desires. We get comfortable with those beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings and past pain. So our minds and egos then take on protecting us from those experiencing says just in case that happens again, and we know to walk away, or we choose to stay in it if we’re already in it at the time. As I said before, it results in closing hearts and not allowing love to be present or be loved or even to be loving in our world worlds. That truly is a false protection. And I definitely experienced that this week. Hearts and love need no protection. When fear takes over though, it we forget about our hearts and our love. And we’ve given all that power back to our minds rather than our heart. It’s really pretty spectacular that this situation happened this week, when I knew I was going to be talking about Fear this week. So when I and you consciously give power to our hearts, then our wisdom our inner wisdom and awareness will inform us when to pay attention when to say know when to stay, when to go, and so much more. Through your superpower and your knowing your kryptonite, those, the awareness is so amazing. And I’m so grateful that I have access to this tool to use every day in my life. And I honestly will not and do not give, give any tools to my clients and in my in my courses and programs and systems, unless I use them in my own life, I am a big walk my talk gal, I’m also human. So there are times where I don’t and I have people in my life that let me know and bring it to my awareness. Your body and your heart. Please know this is the pathway to all of your inner wisdom, Grace and brilliance. I invite you to allow it, I invite you to allow the part power of love and open your heart to connect and receive it even when fear is present. just visualize opening your heart so that you can transcend that fear. Or you can become more aware about that fear or you can unpack it. What I mean by unpacking it is looking at the situation that got triggered where the fear happened. And look at it moment by moment. You know, what, what was the thing that happened? What’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? How did I feel? And what did I do? And that’s how you unpack when it comes to fear. The other thing we can do also is feeding ourselves our minds hearts and soul messages and information that is of a high vibration, and is highly resonant, I really feel that’s what we’re also craving. And when we get stuck in a fear mode. in whatever form it takes. I’ve, I’ve actually noticed this that I do this, I will watch negative news more often or I’ll look for I’ll just attract more of the non positive things as I’m going through that fear which is not helpful, right, it’s not going to help me transcend that fear. And so I just go silent and read and cry a lot and process a lot. And just allow myself and my body the time to talk and if people want to talk to me about it, I will ask them to just wait because I am emotional right now. And I’m still excuse me processing at all. So I am learning actively with you to to love fear instead of resist it. Instead of trying to push it down and and just ignore it or avoid it or quite frankly just keeping it in place. I’m really love learning to love as I step through the fear to the other side of love. That’s another way to unpack it. Today, I invite you to take this step in your life in honor and love of your fears. And I’m joining you with this. Take the be stress free quiz at Dr. You will learn your superpower and your kryptonite and you will learn what they are from your stress free quiz results. And all the emails that I’ll send to you receive it that I will send to you explaining your quiz results to you along with some examples.



When something or someone does not feel aligned, you feel stuck or you feel fearful then turn to your superpower and your kryptonite the secrets are there. A lot of times what happens and for me this week, when my when when a fear got triggered, two of my superpowers were weakened. And really you have top you have a top one and a secondary one. So I revisited those and was able to unpack my fear, get clear about what I needed to ask for. And what I could co create with with this individual and another individual and not be stuck when when fear shows up. We’re stuck in it’s my way or the highway. And I know that and I also know in the relationship work that I do that that does not work in relationships, we’ve got to find common ground. We’ve got to find ways to to connect and align. And as a last last resort, if that cannot happen, then it’s time to walk away or make different choices. Which brings me to step this step for you. Ask yourself what choices you can make to restore your superpower and release the kryptonite. Some of this may sound really confusing and and may not make sense. And it’s because you haven’t taken the the stress free quiz yet. You will learn what your kryptonite is and what your superpower is and learn about how to use it in your life. If you resonate with what you heard today, the greatest compliment you can give me is to share this show and the quiz with your friends. please reach out to me and connect. I am one to respond to emails and messages. You can find me on Facebook at Dr Dr Hawks or on Dr. slash Connect. This is the be stress free podcast where all it takes is one step. Thank you so much for listening. I’m Dr door and until next time, I invite you to be stress free. Join me on the show. The middle and the end of every month at be stress free Doc

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Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where you get relationship advice to create the happy, healthy relationship you deserve.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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