Stop Being Vulnerable and Do This Instead

by | Jan 20, 2023 | Relationship Behaviors, Relationship Mindset | 0 comments

 Invite You To Stop Being Vulnerable

I want to share about Vulnerability, Being Vulnerable, and What it really means with you today.

And if, after reading this article, it resonates for you, then I invite you to  stop being vulnerable, start being invulnerable, connect with the energy and power of self-love and thrive in all your relationships.

I am going to share what invulnerable means and why you should know about it…

Because, when you’re invulnerable, nothing can hurt you… 

And nothing can stop you from being open, honest, trusting yourself, believing in yourself and standing up for yourself in your relationship.

Be Vulnerable With Dr. Dar

I believe that words have immense power and that power can be healthy and whole or can do damage to ourselves and others. stop being vulnerable

For my entire life, I have bristled when I hear someone of high regard in the world teach and promote vulnerability. 

I now understand why. stop being vulnerable

I was brought up in a culture where women have an expected role in the home, where women are less than the men around them, have their place not beside the men, but a few steps behind, being disempowered by others.  This world is where women are hurt, pained, attacked, abused, wounded, treated less than whole and worthy.   

And because of that, speaking up, being transparent, sharing how we feel, and being a stand for ourselves and our needs is… difficult for us.

Because of that, we became vulnerable.  

And because of that, we were then told to become vulnerable, even more so than before.

So, opening our heart to love and being loved is one of the most difficult things to do. 

But did you know that vulnerability and love are opposing forces.

Listen to the podcast or keep reading.stop being vulnerable

Listen to “Stop Being Vulnerable and What Being Vulnerable Really Means – It’s Not What You Think!” on Spreaker.

I believe that words have immense power and that power can be healthy and whole or it can do damage.

Vulnerability and love are opposing forces. They don’t go together.

Let me share the history of the word of the words vulnerable and vulnerability and the definitions with you so you can decide for yourself.

The origination of the word vulnerability means wounding and it originated from the Latin word vulnerary. which means wound, hurt, injure or maim as of the 16th century.

The definitions of vulnerable from the Cambridge Dictionary include:

  • being able to be easily hurt, attacked or winded,
  • being able to be easily physically emotionally or mentally hurt, influenced or attacked.
  • capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt as by a weapon,
  • open to moral attack, criticism, temptation,
  • open to assault
  • difficult to defend (from
  • the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally (Oxford Dictionary),
  • capable of being physically or emotionally wounded, open to attack or damage (Merriam Webster dictionary).
  • Originally the word vulnerable meant capable of being physically wounded, or having the power to wound.

Feeling into the energy, and meanings, of the word vulnerable is important so that you can discern whether it’s helpful or hurtful. 

Given what I have just shared with you, do you feel good about ‘being vulnerable’?

I don’t feel good about it.

And for compassionate, giving, people oriented, service oriented, and loving people, being vulnerable created the space for us to be hurt.

When I work on being vulnerable, it just shuts me down and quite frankly gives others permission and dominion to harm me. This has unfortunate consequences on my health and wellbeing, especially for those who are sensitive, emotional, empathetic, or heart based.

Like you, I’m a self reflective, introspective, sensitive, empath. 

A well known teacher, researcher, speaker and author has said that vulnerability is not weakness.

That is profoundly dangerous. I don’t align with that message.

I do think that through our experiences, whether painful or good feeling, do birth innovation, creativity and change. But I also think and believe that we can feel into our experiences without having to be vulnerable, we can feel pain, we can feel goodness, we can feel and receive feedback and input.

We can listen and hear criticism, but we don’t have to be vulnerable.

We don’t have to take it on so deeply, to where it takes what feels like an eternity to get through it, to recover from it, to take it personally.

I think that vulnerability resulted in us taking things so hard. comparing ourselves to others, judging ourselves and being hurt and being attacked.

You don’t have to do that anymore.

I invite you to stop listening to people, experts, researchers, authors, speakers, healers, teachers, or anyone who promotes being vulnerable or vulnerability.

Because at the end of the day, it does not mean what these people are promoting. And it doesn’t energetically have the effect on us as human beings as they intended.

There are unintended consequences for this word. I hope you received this with love, compassion, understanding.

And from the spirit of my desire for creating elevated higher consciousness and states of love on this planet. I invite you to take this step in your life, stop advocating, promoting and sharing the message of being vulnerable.

Instead, be invulnerable.

Invulnerable means:

  1. Immune to attack,
  2. Impossible to damage, injure, or wound,
  3. Incapable of being wounded, or of receiving injury.

Think about it this way.

Is it easier, disempowering even, to be open minded, open hearted, kind and compassionate with others if you feel vulnerable, open to attack, open to be hurt, open to being wounded?


Is it easier, empowering even, to be open minded, open hearted, kind, and compassionate with others when you feel you are immune to attack, being hurt or wounded.

It’s more empowering to speak up, feel stronger, believe in yourself, stand up for your beliefs, be a champion for your needs in all your relationships when you feel invulnearble.

You don’t have to work on being vulnerable anymore.

You don’t have to convince yourself that being vulnerable does not mean weakness, and means courage or being brave.  Again, having courage, or being brave also put us in the space of lack.

So, today, and every day,

I invite you to work on being invulnerable.

On believing you have your back.

That no one can hurt you, unless you allow it.

That your strength and invulnerability will actually help you create and have better relationships.

Be invulnerable.  Be immune to being hurt by others so that you can show up, be yourself. stop hiding, stop avoiding, and be loved.

I did.  And it changed my life and relationships for the better.

Let me know if this resonates by dropping a comment below.  And, if you want to learn how to become invulnerable, book a relationship huddle with me and I’ll show you how in one session.

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Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where I share simple, effective advice to help you have better, stronger, happier relationships.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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