8 Steps to Save Your Marriage

by | Aug 17, 2009 | Relationship Languages

Happy Couple

Image by fensterbme via flickr

Anyone can get married, but what sort of marriage do you want to have? Anyone can have children, what will be the outcome of those kids? There are many people who are alive today. What sort of life are they living?  We’ve seen many people, celebrity couples included with all their looks, talents, fame, and money get married and divorce after a few years. The question isn’t about how awesome the wedding day was or how lovely the bridemaids looked.

It’s not just about doing something or having something. The question is, “Is it made to last?” Or will it be one of those things that crumble with time, pressure, or circumstances? You only get out of something what you put into it. No skyscraper suddenly dropped on the scene. Take a building for example, the greater and stronger you want the structure to be, the deeper you need to dig before you lay a foundation for building. The higher the building, the stronger the foundation has to be.

Do you want your marriage to last? Do you want your children to turn out right and be worthy contributors to the world they live in? Do you want to live a life that overcomes challenges? Then you need the necessary information and knowledge that will help you reinforce the relationships of your life.

Why do most marriages fail?
Most things in life fail because people fail to plan. You know what they say,  “If you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.”  A lot of people plan for many things. They plan their careers, they draw out plans for a business. Oh, and let’s not forget, they definitely plan their weddings. But I’ve noticed that many couples never make a plan to strengthen and ensure that their relationship lasts.

But what is a plan without a purpose?  The reason we make plans is because we want to achieve a certain purpose or goal, isn’t it? People make business plan because they want to achieve certain goals. Before you can make a good plan for your marriage to last, you need to know the things that you want to achieve in getting marriage. What’s the purpose for this marriage? Does your marriage have a purpose at all?  These questions are very important things to examine if you want to make sure that you’re building your marriage to last. Remember if you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

The 8 steps to taking that first step to save your marriage:

  1. Acknowledge the reasons for your problems – This means accepting why you are having issues, so often this is not done and the problems just keep building and building.
  2. Be rational, reasonable and calm – When you loose your temper in an argument, you tend to say and do things that you didn’t really mean just to be spiteful.
  3. Use space to your advantage – Sometimes having a little space can make things much easier to deal with. Especially if you are both emotional.
  4. Pick your battles  – It is a tough thing to do but sometimes when both parties can’t come to a conclusion, allowing each of you to have your own approach may be the best option.
  5. Find a Middle Ground – Negotiate to find an area where you can both agree and be happy with your decisions.
  6. Work as a team – You got married for a reason, to support each other and help each other through thick or thin.
  7. Take it slowly – Don’t rush right back to where you used to be after a major argument, take things slowly and work back up to where you used to be.
  8. Be patient – As with everything patience is the key and will ultimately lead to a better more happy relationship.

By following these 8 steps,  you can usually work through most problems in a logical manner.

For a different source of info and advice please visit Save Your Marriage

Reblog This Post [With Zemanta]

FREE Relationship Language Quiz

Understanding your Relationship Language is the first step to a happy, healthy, and harmonious relationship.

Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where I share simple, effective advice to help you have better, stronger, happier relationships.



Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
Click to access the login or register cheese
x Logo: ShieldPRO
This Site Is Protected By