3 Reasons Why Couples Break Up

by | Dec 15, 2009 | Relationship Languages | 0 comments

Men and women are different, there is no question.  We think, feel, see, hear, speak, and love differently.

3 reasons why couples break up:

  1. Finding Common Ground –
    I repeatedly see couples who connected and stayed for the wrong reasons. They know they have different values, requirements, wants, and needs which creates friction instead of expansion through loving the differences, not knowing how to find common ground when their differences are glaring at them.  Not knowing how to find common ground is what  separates them, not the differences. Separation is the only way they know how to move forward in the heat of managing differences.
  2. Loss of Connection –
    Allowing normal day to day life and responsibility take over the relatonship such that the relationship is on autopilot is a slow path to the demise of the relationship.  Not making time to listen to your partner, continuing to date each other, making time for intimacy, and staying connected to each other leads to the lack of connection which ultimately results in the end of the relationship.  Sometimes the end is quick, sometimes it takes decades.  Just because you are in a committed relationship, it does not mean that the relationship no longer needs continued nurturing. I compare this to shaving my legs for the dreaded annual female physical and not shaving for myself and my husband.
  3. Lack of Support and Acknowledgment –
    The number one complaint I get from both men and women is that they do not feel supported or acknowledged by their partner.  The second is not feeling listened to/heard and poor communication.  Often, couples spend more time on what is not working, what their partner is not doing, what they are doing wrong, or making them wrong.  This combined with constant nagging is a sure path to the demise of the relationship.  Couples forget how to be supportive and how to promote the strengths of their partner.  They don't know how to talk through things they cannot let go of with the intention of finding common or mutual solutions.  Instead, they argue about it resulting in more frustration and feelings of not being our supported.

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Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where I share simple, effective advice to help you have better, stronger, happier relationships.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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