Top 10 Ways Power Destroys Your Relationship
Most people think of power dynamics in terms of work or school relationships, but power dynamics can be a huge issue in marital relationships as well. In fact, power dynamics can cause all sorts of problems in a marriage, and can even lead to splitting up.
Here are ten ways power destroys your relationship:
- One partner demands that the other always do what they say, and will not accept “no” for an answer.
- One partner takes all of the power in making decisions, leaving the other partner feeling unheard and powerless.
- One partner is financially dependent on the other, leaving them with very little power or financial independence.
- One partner controls household responsibilities, such as budgeting and childcare, while the other is expected to simply follow instructions without input or questioning their authority.
- One partner keeps score of who did what when it comes to daily tasks like cooking or laundry as a way to maintain power over the other person.
- There is an imbalance of power when it comes to communication—tne person talks more and the other listens, or one person interrupts or overpowers the other in conversations.
- One partner is constantly critical of the other’s opinions or decisions as a way to maintain power.
- One partner attempts to use guilt-tripping tactics as a form of power manipulation.
- One partner refuses to compromise when it comes to making choices together, leaving their spouse feeling trapped and powerless.
- One partner withholds affection or intimacy in order to control their spouse’s behavior and keep power over them.
It can be difficult for couples that have unequal power dynamics within their marriage to make things better, but with some open communication and a lot of patience, it is possible.
If power dynamics are causing issues in your relationship, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and work together to find a way to negotiate power more evenly.
No marriage should be based on unequal power dynamics, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.
Power Destroys Your Relationship and Control Issues Create Lack of Desire to Be Together
If power dynamics are causing issues in your relationship, it’s important to talk openly and honestly with your partner about it.
With some open communication and a lot of patience, you can work together to find a way to negotiate power more evenly and create a healthier dynamic within your marriage.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it—talking with a professional coach or therapist may be just the thing that helps you both navigate this difficult issue. Together, you can restore balance between the two of you and get back on track towards having a healthy relationship.
More often than not, having an outside perspective from a professional relationship coach or therapist can make all the difference when it comes to understanding power dynamics in relationships and how they can affect your marriage.
If you think power dynamics may be playing a role in your relationship, talking with a professional relationship coach or therapist can help you both navigate through this difficult issue and restore balance between you.
When power destroys your relationship
It’s important to talk openly and honestly with your partner about it. With some open communication and a lot of patience, you can work together to find a way to negotiate power more evenly and create a healthier dynamic within your marriage.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it—talking with a professional relationship healer may be just the thing that helps you both navigate this difficult issue. Together, you can restore balance between the two of you and get back on track towards having a healthy relationship.
Power dynamics in relationships can be a huge issue, and can even lead to splitting up.
One way power dynamics can manifest themselves is through the language we use. For example, one partner might always talk and the other listens, or one person interrupts or overpowers the other in conversations. This can create an imbalance of power within the relationship.
It’s important to be aware of how power dynamics play out in our language, and to make an effort to have balanced conversations with our partners. By being conscious of how we speak to each other, we can work towards having more equal power relationships within our marriages or romantic partnerships.
Here are 20 ways power destroys your relationship by what you say and how you say it:
- I’m always right and you’re always wrong.
- I know what’s best for you, so you should just listen to me.
- You’re not allowed to talk until I’ve finished talking.
- You’re not capable of making decisions on your own, so I have to do it for you.
- I’m the one who makes all the decisions in this relationship, so don’t even bother asking me what you think.
- You’re too emotional, so you can’t be trusted to make rational decisions.
- You’re just trying to be difficult, but I’m not going to let you get away with it.
- This is the way things are going to be, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
- You’re never going to change, so there’s no point in trying.
- You can’t be serious, that’s not going to work
- I don’t have time for this, just give up already
- You’re overthinking things, just relax and go with the flow
- I’m not sure what you’re getting so upset about, it’s not a big deal
- It doesn’t matter what you want, I’m going to do what I want anyway
- You’re embarrassing me in front of other people, stop it!
- I’m tired and stressed out right now, can we talk about this later?
- Calm down” or “relax” – telling your partner to stop feeling how they’re feeling in order to assert power over them
- “I’m not angry” – using passive aggressiveness as a form of power over someone else
- “I didn’t hurt your feelings” – using phrases which diminish your partner’s feelings as a way of having power over them
- “I’ll get over it” – using dismissal as a way of brushing off your partner’s concerns and having power over them
Here are 20 examples of how to say things differently before power destroys your relationship:
- I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.
- I didn’t mean to say it that way, can we try again?
- Let’s take a break and talk about this later.
- I understand how you’re feeling, and I’m here for you.
- That wasn’t my intention, can you please forgive me?
- I’ll try to be more aware of how my words might affect you.
- I’m sorry if I upset you, can we talk about it?
- Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
- Thank you for telling me how you feel, I really appreciate it.
- I’ll try to listen more and not talk as much.
- I’m sorry for what I did, can you help me understand why it made you feel that way?
- Can we please discuss this without getting angry?
- “I hear you” or “I understand” – letting your partner know that you’re listening and that you care
- “That makes sense” – validating your partner’s feelings and demonstrating that you’re taking their concerns seriously
- “Let me think about that” or “I need some time to process what you’re saying” – giving yourself time to respond thoughtfully and not jumping to conclusions
- :I don’t know what to say” or “I’m not sure how to fix this” – acknowledging that there is a problem and admitting that you need help resolving it
- “Thank you for telling me” – thanking your partner for opening up to you and communicating their feelings honestly
- “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” or “I take responsibility for my actions” – accepting blame and owning up to your wrong-doing
- “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” – asking how you can make things right
- “Can we please try to get along?” or “Can we put this behind us?” – trying to move on from the conflict and restore harmony
Another way to understand how power is controling you and your relationship is to take the Relationship Languages Quiz.
Take the 5 Relationship Languages Quiz to learn more about the power language you speak, listen from, and take actions based on along with the other 4 relationship languages. Knowing your power language can help you to better understand how power dynamics are affecting your relationship and how to work towards a more balanced power dynamic.
Let me know how this article is helpful to you in identifying and bringing power in your relationships back into balance with both you and your partner – scroll down to the comments section and share your thoughts on what helped, what would make this better, or any questions you have about power in your relationships or for yourself.