Office Romance: So is there really anything wrong with it?

by | Sep 14, 2009 | Relationship Languages | 0 comments

Mark Asks:


Office Romance: So is there really anything wrong with it?


I work with a woman who I’m really attracted to – we’re both single right now, not dating anyone, and we’ve known each
other for a couple years. She’s in management and so am I.  She’s attracted to me, too. We’ve joked about dating each
other, but neither of us has made a move to do so. I’ve thought of asking her out on a date, but just wanted to
get some advice. I know with social networking that the lines between personal and professional have blurred. Society has
changed a lot over the years and so has formality in most business offices. It’s challenging to find someone you’re
attracted to.

Is there really anything wrong with dating someone at the office? What are your thoughts? Should we take a chance? What
other advice can you give me and us – to protect ourselves and our jobs?


Dr. Dar Says:


Joyful Greetings Mark,

Having had an office romance myself, I understand how you must feel.  Given that we spend so much time at work, it is understandable that we meet potential significant others at work as well.  Here is the scoop, first check on what policies are in place at your workplace as a critical first step.  Once you know the policy, you can then figure out what is next.  I don’t see anything wrong with dating someone at the office if you keep the following in mind:  you are honoring the company policy about workplace romance; you have an agreement in the relationship as to how you will both handle yourselves if things do work out AND if it does not work out; you both agree to avoid cloudy decision making and biases if you both collaborate at work; you both have clear and defined agreements about how you will conduct yourselves in the workplace; and how, when, and if you will inform your managers and others in the workplace about your romance (because people find out even if you think they will not). Lastly, should the romance become deeper and you both want to become more committed, you should both have an agreement about your plan for handling that; will you both continue to work at the same company, will one of you seek other employment, etc.

Dr. Dar ||704.651.8568

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