Invent Your Own Life Meaning as a Peacemaker, People Pleaser, Giver, and Sympathizer

by | Mar 7, 2021 | Relationship Languages | 0 comments

I Invite You To Invent
Your Own Life Meaning as a Peacemaker,
People Pleaser, Giver, and Sympathizer

As a fellow people pleaser, giver, and conscious service provider, I used to wonder about the meaning of my life…Life meaning as a people pleaser

My Life Meaning as a People Pleaser would…

Often arise when I was criticized, undervalued, or dismissed at work or felt that way at home…

Or when I was not manifesting or receiving what I wanted to have and experience in my life, work, and relationships. Life meaning as a people pleaser

It’s another way of beating ourselves up… because people pleasers, givers, and conscious service providers hold ourselves to a high standard… an idealistic standard… Life meaning as a people pleaser

It is no longer a question that puts me in a mental tailspin… followed by anxiety… and worry.

I took my queues from Mother Nature… like the bee in this picture. Life meaning as a people pleaser

Inventing your own life’s meaning is not connected with what you do, how you do it, the feedback you get… or criticism… or even what others say or think about you.

It is connected with being… specifically who you are being… Life meaning as a people pleaser

Not what others want you to be or do… Life meaning as a people pleaser

Not for giving all you have to please others… meaning of life as a people pleaser

And… not for doing more… and not leaving time, space or energy for yourself.

And… meaning of life as a people pleaser

It is directly connected with Feeling Good… About yourself, your life, work, and relationships.

This bee is being itself… buzzing around… seeking colorful budding flowers…  Life Meaning

Being joyously drawn to the beauty of this flower… and partaking of it’s bountiful nectar…

Bee Life'S Meaning-Dr. Darhawks - Photo Credit Sandy Miller Unsplash

Today… I Humbly Invite You
To Invent Your Own Life’s Meaning
With One or All of these 3 Steps

Step 1 – Skip all the rocks and go straight to the top rock. 

You see… The Meaning of Your Life… Is Yours to Define… Yours to Choose… 

We were taught that we have to do things one step at a time.  To climb the ladder… any ladder… figurative or real… we had to climb up one rung at a time…

That skipping any rungs on that ladder would result in more splinters on our hands, legs, and feet than if we took each rung… one at a time… and slowly. Meaning of Life

You see… we’ve been taught a logical step by step process in everything in life.  You start as a youngster in kindergarten… step by step going through each grade, each class… in order that the system dictates.  And we continue logically… doing steps in order… in classes, taking tests, following recipes, reading books, doing a project… Meaning of Life

I could go on and on with other examples… Meaning of Life

For people pleasers, givers, and conscious service providers… we’ve learned that following the steps… step by step… will prevent us from mistakes… or worse… getting hurt.


Skip any row of rocks… even skipping all the way to the top… with Joy and Ease!

It is possible to skip a grade… whether you go to summer school to get ahead… or learn on your own in your spare time and pass the test to skip a grade or class. Meaning of Life

It is possible to improve a recipe by adding an ingredient or mixing the ingredients in a different order than what is dictated on paper. Meaning of Life

Skip To The Top Rock - Drdarhawks- Lifes Meaning - Zdenek-Machacek--Unsplash
Imagine - Ladder - Dr. Dar Hawks - Debby-Hudson-Unsplash

But… the truth is… your soul knows…

Step 2 – You can unlearn what you’ve been taught… 

Unlearn all that does not serve your highest good… or the highest good for others in your life.

You can listen to your voice… your instinct… your intuition… and your wisdom.

To get a jump start on your ‘deconditioning’ and ‘deprogramming process’, I invite you to experience your Body Energy Map.

You will be provided with your own strategy to hear the wisdom of your body, your own body’s way of making highest good decisions, and learn your strategy for unlearning what does not serve your highest good.

Unlearn The Lies We Have Inherited

If you’re not ready for step 1 or step 2…

Step 3 – Use this logical, mind oriented unlearning process

It’s called the unlearning curve.

It is a mind focused exercise… not a whole body one… and not an emotional one.

However, your mind, body, and emotions can reveal opportunities for unlearning through this logical mind focused process.

It asks that you write your answers down to get the out of your head and into another form.

I ask that you keep a journal to jot down what surfaces for you to unlearn as you use this unlearning curve process.

Allow this process to help you become comfy with uncertainty, doubt, and not knowing… anything.  It’s a powerful process… to unlearn what no longer serves your highest good.


If you’ve made it this far… I have a secret to tell you…

The meaning of your life… is tied to purposeful or intentional or mindful living… and that is to feel good.

Invent Your Own Life Meaning

What if feeling good about yourself is the starter to the fire of meaning in your life?  

And… what if there was a simpler way to begin your unlearning… deconditioning process?

Dailai Lama - Meaning Of Life - Happiness - Drdarhawks

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Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where I share simple, effective advice to help you have better, stronger, happier relationships.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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