Dr. Dar Hawks’ Dating Story – On Being a People Pleasing Woman Seeking a Loving Relationship

by | Dec 24, 2022 | Healthy, Happy and Harmonious Relationships | 0 comments

My Tear Rich, Heart Wrenching Dating Story

A smidge over two decades ago I was curled up on the floor of my home wailing for hours. I never knew I could cry, sob, or make alien noises like that.

That morning I had learned that my fiance was still seeing his ex.

This is my dating story.

The humiliation, shame, and devastation I felt knowing my family had an engagement ceremony for us a week or so ago.

I knew it was over for good.  I felt completely unlovable.

Crying Eyes Out - Drdarhawks - Relationship Readiness Dating Story

 Finally, I stopped and just lay there on my back looking up at the ceiling for what felt like days… unable to move.

The Voice

I heard a voice within say, ‘You’re not going to let this get in the way of your search for love and love-ability are you?’  ‘You are not going to give up on your dating story, are you?’

That voice would not shut up…it kept nudging, and niggling, and pestering…like a record player stuck in one spot…  It was effective!  The voice knew I would not be able to lay there without getting frigging annoyed.

The voice kept nagging away at me…  it felt like a bee buzzing in my ear…


Bee Scared Of Love- Darshana Hawks - Relationship Readiness

You have been successful in your education, career, and anything you set out to do once you set your mind to it.

What’s different about this situation?

If you want to be love and be loved back, you are the one who has to do and be different’.

As much as I wanted to shut that voice down…

I knew it was my voice and it was time for me to choose to do be different.

Creation and Mindset Shift

I turned on some music…

I don’t recall what or who was singing… I was in a fog…

I grabbed some paper and a pen.

Then I reverse engineered the steps I had taken to make an A in college, the steps I took to win the President’s Club award at work resulting in a wonderful trip to St. Thomas, and the steps I took to leave one job and be hired by one of my customers for 100% pay raise.

Those were the days!

You see, I knew I had the skills to do/be relationships and I had the skills to create a process leading me down a path to success…because I had used them repeatedly at my job.

I created a step by step plan for what I needed to do and who I needed to be… to be worthy to receive the love my wonderful partner had to give. Then, I set out to work on my plan.

Meeting Places

My new dilemma:  Where do I go to meet people?

I was done with the bar scene, meeting people at work, or at parties.

I recalled hearing about online dating on the radio… but brushed it off.

Then…One morning, The Voice came back and said ‘You should check out this thing.’

This time, I did not wait to be nagged.  I heard The Voice…and I took action…

I created my account and began my online shopping experience.

Somehow I knew not to give complete control to the dating site algorithms.

I knew this was a tool for me to use… and use it I did… sorting through profiles while becoming clearer about my worth.

I remember finding and reading a profile by a person named Noiz on that was funny and intelligent.  I noticed, a bit freaked out, that he lived 0.0 miles away from me.

[By now you may be thinking, I don’t want to use online dating…it sucks…all I find are people who lie on their profiles, only want hookups or be friends with benefits, or mismatches galore.  It’s okay, the Relationship Readiness System™ works whether or not you use online dating sites.]

Could I Be on My Magical Path to True Love?


Magical Path To Love - Darshana Hawks - Relationship Readiness System

His profile shows that he is zero (0) miles from my home.


How can he be in my house?

I took that as a sign…to take another action.

I clicked the button to send a message and quickly typed a message to Noiz letting him know I found his profile funny and intelligent along with a thank you for being unique.  Thus began our online romance.

We chatted online for a couple of months, then shifted to phone conversations lasting several hours at a time… so we got to know each other deeply over a short period of time.

Six weeks from the date I created my own find the love of my life program and merged it with one from The Relationship Coaching Institute where I am licensed and certified as a Master Singles, Relationship, and Family Coach… I met my hot, loving, generous, funny, compassionate, life partner and best friend Chuck Hawks.

Here we are… Happy, Healthy and Whole.

Chuck And Darshana

And Now…

I offer you the relationship languages process that brought my ideal partner into my arms… to you!

Psst… if this multicultural, sensitive, intuitive, chick from the African continent who landed in the Southern United States can meet the love of her life using this approach… then I know you can too!

Free Relationship Quiz

Understanding your Relationship Language is the first step to create the happy, healthy, and harmonious relationship you deserve.

Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where you get relationship advice to create the happy, healthy relationship you deserve.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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