Clean and Curious Communication Creates a Healthy Relationship

by | Apr 19, 2023 | Curious Communication, Relationship Behaviors, Relationship Mindset | 0 comments

The Importance of Clean and Curious Communication in Relationships

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. However, it’s not just about talking and expressing your thoughts, but also about listening and truly understanding your partner’s point of view. Clean communication, also known as clear, respectful, and honest communication, creates a safe and non-judgmental environment where both partners can express their feelings and needs without fear of repercussions or misunderstandings.

What is a ‘Beginner’s Mind’ and How it Improves Communication

Another essential component of successful communication is having a beginner’s mind. It’s a Zen concept that encourages people to approach conversations with an open and curious attitude, as if they’re hearing something for the first time. Instead of assumptions, biases, and judgments, a beginner’s mind focuses on genuine interest and a desire to understand the other person’s perspective.

How to Develop Curiosity in Your Conversations

Now, let’s look at some practical steps to help couples develop a genuine curiosity and interest in each other during conversations.

  1. Listen actively: Pay attention to what your partner is saying and show empathy and support by nodding, asking follow-up questions, and acknowledging their feelings.
  2. Avoid assumptions: Don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask clarifying questions to gain a better understanding of their perspective.
  3. Be present: Avoid distractions and show your partner your undivided attention. This means putting away your phone, turning off the TV, and any other distractions that might hinder your conversation.
  4. Ask open-ended questions: These types of questions encourage deeper and more meaningful conversations. Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask questions that start with what, how, or why.

Benefits of Clean and Curious Communication

Clean and curious communication can positively impact any relationship in several ways, such as:

  • Better understanding: When both partners listen actively and show genuine curiosity, it leads to a deeper understanding of each other’s thoughts, feelings, and needs.
  • Improved conflict resolution: Having a respectful and non-judgmental attitude during disagreements can help the couple work towards a solution while avoiding hurtful comments and blame.
  • Deeper connection: When both partners work towards improving their communication regularly, it builds a sense of trust and openness, thereby creating a deeper connection.

Real-Life Scenarios

Let’s take an example: Imagine you and your partner are discussing something, and they share their feelings about a particular issue that you strongly disagree with. Instead of immediately shooting down their perspective, try to understand why they feel that way. Ask open-ended questions like “Why do you think that?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” These types of questions invite them to provide more context and detail.

Another example: Suppose your partner is hesitant to share something with you because they’re afraid of being judged. In that case, show them that you’re willing to listen actively and without judgment by saying something like “I’m here to listen to you, and I won’t judge you for what you have to say.” This kind of attitude can encourage them to open up and share their feelings more freely.

Conclusion: Implement These Tips in Your Daily Life

In conclusion, developing clean and curious communication skills in any relationship is essential for building a healthy and thriving connection. It starts by actively listening, showing empathy, and creating a non-judgmental environment. By incorporating these practices into your daily conversations, you can strengthen your relationship and deepen your connection with your partner. So, make a conscious effort to cultivate a beginner’s mind and clean communication, and watch how it transforms your interaction with your significant other.


  1. Communication in Relationships: A Simple and Effective Guide
  2. Beginner’s Mind: How to Develop a Beginner’s Mind.
  3. Habits for Wellbeing: 9 Effective Communication Skills.

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Dr. Dar Hawks. Relationship Coach for Couples

Hello, I'm Dr. Dar

This is my little corner of the internet where I share simple, effective advice to help you have better, stronger, happier relationships.



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Hi, I’m Dr. Dar…

If I could share just one thing with you today, let it be this: you have the power to shape your relationship into what you want it to be.

I am Dar, the Relationship Healer. I help couples to solve the communication and relationship issues that could potentially tear them apart. 

Until I started on the coaching path that led to my formulation of the Relationship Languages, most of the problems in my life had been due to problematic relationships… relationships where I felt unable to communicate, where I was not being heard, where I was not feeling understood. 

I have learned that, to create happy, healthy, and harmonious relationships even when you have differences, you have to learn how to give and receive communication in a healthy way. You have to feel safe expressing how you feel and what you need. 

That’s the beauty of the Relationship Languages. Once understood, they are the key to safe, curious communication. 

I’m here to help you on your journey to understanding and being understood. 

From my heart to yours,

Dr. Dar - The Relationship Healer - The 5 Relationship Languages Quiz
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